The Official Writing Challenge
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Ooooh - this is masterfully creepy and haunting. You absolutely sent chills up my spine. You have an absolute gift for insinuating what is going on without telling. I could learn a lot from you. Absolutely excellent.
Chilling. What more can I say.
Oh, how frightening that her parents are so blind!!! And I'd have to agree with the other comment--your ability to foreshadow evil without actually getting down to details is enviable. This story drew me in right away and scared me. It captured the feel of a cult, too.
Yes, this was brilliant and very chilling. Well done.
You exposed the dynamics of cult recruitment expertly. Good writing!
Wow. I see why Joanne picked this, I think we may see a placement here as well. So sad and so real. Especailly loved the last line. Keep up the good words.
Wow, this is powerful! Excellent writing, bringing us right into this poor girl's heart.
Excellent writing. You really captured her fear. Good explanation of how some get lured into cults. Great example of the topic.
Wow! This one reads like a chapter from a novel. Excellent writing....but a scary story!
This is so haunting and sad. You draw your reader into the emotions. Excellent!
Well, "Father" is a real creep, to put it bluntly. Very well told, and your point was well made. You did a great job with this.
Such an emotionally stirring story. Well written. Right on topic.
This gave me chills. I like the way you went from larger paragraphs to one lines. You somehow managed to pack a lot of emotion in a short amount of time. Great job.
Your last line is really powerful. It adds to the haunting feel of this piece. I was with her, wishing that it wouldn't come out to be a fraud, but it did. You made me care about her and especially connect, knowing how difficult it is to be the middle child. Excellent writing! ^_^
I don't think there can be a finer example of the importance of family than what you have just written.
Your writing was tight and suspensful, leading to an unexpected but believable ending.
What a sad, sad story presented perfectly. You hit the topic exactly.
Wow! What great writing! I was immediately drawn in. Wonderful job!
Creepy, but good.

This is 'real' writing - I am so glad to see us as Christians not always have sappy sweet stories with happy endings.
Very good writing -- and a very strong message. The POV voice is perfect. Excellent example of the topic.
Great suspense elements in this story. It has just the right kind of ominous background without being too obvious that something evil is about to happen.
Very well written. I felt the fear like I was there, about to be led into the room. You did a great job putting the reader "there." This is very creepy and very powerful. It's also a good message for us parents to give our children the attention they need and deserve. Bravo.
Congratulations on a well-deserved 3rd place!!!! :)