The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Deep! I really thought about this piece afterwards. I enjoy thought provoking writing! I do suggest seperating some of it for both easier reading and to give the writing a more powerful effect. It IS powerful writing, but loses some of it in the form it's written. Very nice job.
Some very good lines and flashes of brillance. But the layout with no paragraph breaks was like an overcast gray sky. No breaks for sunlight to filter through to highlight the uniqueness of each cloud. You made some great ponts and wrote some lines I wish I could have come up with, but they didn't have the effect/affect they could have because they were locked in with all of the other words and were not given the chance to shine and really hammer home and minster the point you were trying to make. That said, some excellent writing here. I look forward to reading more from you. God bless.
A well written journey. I enjoyed this - A LOT! Fear not leaving but becoming irrelevant - wonderful!