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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Postcards (08/29/05)
Rachel sat staring at the postcard in her hand. This was the news she had prayed to hear for twelve years. Twelve long years filled with prayers, hope, anger, and tears. One side showed a night picture of the empire state building lit up in all its glory. She turned it over again to read the simple message, Mrs. Newhart your daughter is alive and well. Please come to New York City. Rachel looked up when her husband walked in to the room. Kevin stopped when he saw her face. Crossing the room to her he knelt down “What is it Rachel?” The concern in his voice caused Rachel to begin sobbing. She handed him the postcard. He immediately went to the phone. Rachel barely heard his conversation with the detective that was as close as family now. She closed her eyes and thought back to twelve years earlier.
Rachel stood at the kitchen window watching for the school bus that was due any moment. She pulled out a jug of milk and poured two glasses. Setting them at the bar with the cookies she heard the bus coming and stepped out onto the front porch smiling. The bus stopped to let off the kids but Lucy was not one of them. Rachel started yelling for the bus driver to stop before he drove off. Lucy had probably fallen asleep and the driver did not realize she was there. “Mr. Larry, I believe you forgot to drop off a passenger.”
The older man smiled, “Mrs. Newhart I did not notice Lucy get on the bus this afternoon.”
“Would you mind checking she may have fallen asleep after a busy day at kindergarten?” Mr. Larry stood up and walked down the aisle checking every seat.
“Mrs. Newhart she is not here try calling the school and see if she missed the bus.” Rachel thanked him and then sprinted home. Grabbing her keys she jumped into her car to drive to the school.
Rachel ran to the office, poor Lucy was probably terrified. The secretary looked up “Mrs. Newhart, the bus driver called in and let us know the situation. Everyone is looking for Lucy right now.” Rachel stepped back “looking for Lucy. You mean no one knows where she is?” The secretary just shook her head.
The months that followed were filled with detectives, tips, dead ends, hope, and despair. Soon a year had passed and then another. Everyone seemed to doubt that Lucy would come home. Closing her eyes to block out the past she tried to pray. Lord, give me strength to find the answers.
Two days later Rachel and Kevin walked nervously to the front step of a large apartment building and read the names listed. Karen Shaw was listed on the 3rd floor apt. B. When they knocked an elderly woman answered the door her eyes widened in recognition “Mr. & Mrs. Newhart please come in.” Rachel’s attention was immediately drawn to the pictures of a blonde headed girl. Rachel breathed an “Oh”. “Mrs. Newhart I believe that my granddaughter Katherine is your missing daughter Lucy.” Rachel sank down to the couch “Ms. Shaw, I don’t understand.”
“I am still trying to put the pieces together myself. Twelve years ago my daughter, Susan, showed up with a little girl. She told me Katherine had been abandoned. Katherine however was adamant that her mommy & daddy wanted her and that her name was Lucy.” Karen let out a troubled sigh “All of the paperwork seemed legitimate so I had no reason to doubt my daughters’ word. Eventually Katherine stopped talking about her parents. I believe she came to the conclusion you did abandon her.” Rachel sat silently weeping her baby had thought that they did not love or want her anymore.
“How did you find out the truth?” Kevin asked. Karen smiled “God’s divine providence. I have been working as a volunteer at the center for missing children. I came across a copy of the flyer with her picture on it. I knew immediately Katherine was Lucy.” Kevin and Rachel sat quietly absorbing this information. Karen spoke with a profound sadness in her voice “I know you have lost twelve years and my heart grieves for you and for Lucy.”
In the hotel room that evening they heard someone knock on the door. Kevin looked at Rachel “remember no matter what God is in control.” Rachel nodded and opened the door “Lucy?!”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Brandi Roberts
09/07/05
A touching story. Remember to add spacing between paragraphs to make it an easier read. Thanks for sharing!
Linda Miller
09/07/05
This is a great story but I agree with Brandi, spacing would have helped this read better. Keep on writing.
Jan Ackerson
09/07/05
A gripping story. Work on putting commas in compound sentences. You did a good job of expressing the mother's emotions.
Deborah Porter 
09/21/05
Jillian, I was a judge for Level 1 for this particular week, and made a special note to leave a comment and encourage you. I thought this was a good, creative story and I think we'll see some more very good entries from you in the future. All "Lucy" needed was a bit of editing to tighten it up a little. That would have made it a great story. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)