Looking Up | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Looking Up | Previous Challenge Entry
By Susan martin
08/19/06
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As I heard her stomp into the hallway and open the closet that contained my dad’s belts, I wondered what I did this time. All I was doing at the time was sitting in my room and read my books. I did all the chores that my mom told me to do; I dusted, vacuumed and folded the laundry. Did I breathe to heavy perhaps and she thought I was being sarcastic? Maybe I missed a spot when I cleaned or didn’t fold something right; all I know is that my mom said I was in for it and I knew what that meant.

I could hear my mom’s footsteps getting closer and all I could do, as a nine year old, was pray that it wouldn’t hurt to much this time. As she grabbed for my arm I asked her pleadingly what I did, and her answer was that I ruined her life and this was also for my sister since she was still too little. I always got the beatings if my little sister did something wrong as well just because I was the oldest, my mom would say. That was okay though because she was so little and had epilepsy, so I was willing to take the punches for her.

As she threw me on the floor I cried my last plea to her, “Please mommy don’t”, but as the folded belt lashed across my lower back, all I could do was cry from the pain. I couldn’t tell how long this beating lasted, but I always knew that when my mom started breathing heavy, it meant that she was tiring out and was going to stop beating me soon and I knew that I could try to sleep off the pain. As the last slap of the belt went across my shoulder, she picked me up by the hair and told me that if I told my dad I would get it worse the next day. Then she put the belt back in the closet, exactly the way my dad left it.

As I look back at all the beatings I got through the years, I think about how my Lord and Savior died for my sins. I think about how He pleaded with His Father to take that cup from Him and how his cries were not heard either. Although my scars, both physical and emotional, are still with me, they are nothing compared to what Jesus received on that cross for me and my sins.

I have since forgiven my mom and have finally begun to heal some and this is thanks to Jesus’ last words on the cross “Forgive them Father for they don’t know what they do”.

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