The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/07
I love your 3rd paragraph, with you sitting in the sun. So poignant and sweet!
11/03/07
This was really good.

I'm not sure if word count "got you" or not, but I'd like to see this expanded to tell more of the main character's early childhood. I also don't think you needed that last sentence. It kind of broke the flow you had going.

Great job overall, and a great story. Keep writing!
11/07/07
I loved the 'funny, red curly hair'! ;-)
I wish you could have expanded this more and told us/showed us more about this little girl. What a story she has to tell.
Good job! :-) Hugs!!