Encouragement

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How often have we heard somebody say “I know what you are thinking” or “I know just how you feel.” This can sometimes be said to comfort the other person, to let them know that there is some sympathy for their plight. Or it might have been said during an argument or discussion of some kind. We have all said it at some time yet when you consider it how can we possibly imagine ourselves experiencing life as another person does?

How can we truly understand how they feel and what is going on in their heart and mind? The fact is that our own character and personality may be far different to theirs, and therefore our own beliefs and ideas will almost certainly cloud our judgement. Of course when it is said with the other person’s interest at heart we can try with the most sincere motives to imagine how they feel, what mental anguish they are suffering, but the bottom line is we cannot truly know.

We all experience suffering and problems at some time in our lives, such as despair and grief, and so this is why we can feel sympathy for the other person. In many cases we have been in that kind of position before, we too have suffered the same kind of mental torment. Yet the way we respond is a purely personal thing.

The same can be said also when we tend to judge others, especially those we don’t know. It may be that the other person is dressed in a certain way, or looks untidy or unfriendly. We immediately jump to the conclusion that they are just plain lazy, that their home is probably a mess and that they are going to snatch our wallet at the first possible opportunity. However, the chances are that this person would be the first to help somebody out, to help an old lady across the street, or hand your wallet back to you if you dropped it in the supermarket.

On a personal note, some time ago I met a woman who I hadn’t seen for some months and said to her how much I admired her hair, explaining that I hadn’t liked it short as it had been before when I last saw her. When she told me that she had lost her hair because she was having chemotherapy and it was just beginning to grow back I wished that I had kept my mouth firmly closed. I had judged her and the situation wrongly and should really have kept my opinions to myself.

Consider the Bible story of the Good Samaritan. When the Samaritan came across the traveller, a Jew who had been robbed and beaten up, he could easily have just walked by. After all the Jews and Samaritans despised each other, and the Jew could have just been drunk and fallen over and injured himself. Yet the Samaritan did not judge him as a waster and even went out of his way to help the stricken traveller, even paying an innkeeper money to look after him.

It is so easy to judge others because they do not live according to our own standards or values. Yet until we know their circumstances, whether things are going badly for them or not, then it is wrong to condemn them out of hand. It is better to extend the hand of sympathy and understanding rather then just hazard a guess as to what they are thinking or feeling. Making instant judgements of others can possibly make an enemy, when with tact and patience we could so easily have made a friend.

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