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God, you have dumped the works on me. Don't expect me to keep quiet. Where is the strength to keep my hopes up? Do you really think I have nerves of steel? Do you think I can pull myself up by my bootstraps? Why, I don't even have any boots! Do you remember how beautifully you formed me? You the potter, me the clay. Will you now reduce me to mud pie? You give me life with incredible love- but you never told me about this part...
Sound familiar? It's the Bible's account of Jobs miserable story. It's my story, at times.
Crying out to God with the same questions acting as if I have to handle every little thing by myself. Believing that as a single woman I am left to my own devices. Often forgetting that hope is a daily decision, acting on my feelings even though from experience I know that my feelings can't always be ttrusted. I end up feeling like a mud pie instead of the phenominal woman - a work in progress that God says I am.
Some days I know I can handle anything. The book of Psalms has a unique description of those coveted days- when all hell breaks loose... I am collected and cool, when besieged I am as calm as a sleeping baby, my heart will not fear.
Remembering that God is for me, I am fearless, embracing th days when my heart and head are in perfect rhythm. Other days my head can trail off down a rabbit hole, when that happens I hop right smack into trouble. Accusing God of abandoning me, listening to the vicious lies in my head causing me to doubt why I am here.
Regardless of my behavior, what I know for sure is- God loves me. He never crushes my spirit with harsh judgement that I often inflict on myself. He always draws me back to his loving arms gently as if I am the only one he loves.
If you feel like mud pie today- hang on. Hope is a decision, a daily life changing decision and don't forget that God loves mud pie- it's his favorite.
THIS STORY CONTAINS ADAPTATIONS FROM THE SCRIPTURES Job 6:1-13, 10:8-12, Psalm27:3- The Message Bible
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