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Topic: Satisfied (10/11/04)
TITLE: God, Mick and Me By Mary Elder-Criss 10/13/04 |
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“But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try...I can’t get no...satisfaction!”
Singing along at the top of my lungs, I smile and remember the days of freedom this song brings back. Days spent joyriding with friends in my first car, stereo blaring (of course), windows rolled down, all for the purpose of seeing, and being seen.
However, right in the middle of enthusiastically belting out the chorus yesterday, I was stopped cold, as God interrupted. “Yep, that’s true,” He said.
“Huh, God?” I responded. “What are you talking about? Can’t it wait ‘til this song goes off? I’m kinda’ singing here, you know.”
“Oh nothing, just commenting on your choice of lyrics. You’ve been so dissatisfied lately, that oughta be your theme song.”
“Oh great. That’s just a wonderful Word. Thanks a lot, God. Now I can’t enjoy the rest of the song.”
“Sorry,” was His only response, but I could have sworn I heard Him chuckle.
The sad thing is, He’s right. It could be my theme song. I am often guilty in acting dissatisfied with circumstances and things around me. If it’s cold outside, I grumble, and wish it were hot. If it’s hot, I wish it were cooler. If it’s raining, I want the sun to shine, if it’s sunny, I long for a cool breeze, or clouds.
My grumbling doesn’t always stop with the weather conditions, either, I’m afraid. I complain over the lack of help I’m receiving around the house, but I don’t voice my requests for assistance. Instead, I take on too much, spread myself too thin, do jobs that don’t really have to be done that very moment, and then proceed to do them all myself without thinking about the consequences, or asking anyone to help.
I am also a perfectionist, and that almost always opens up the door for dissatisfaction. My standards are always so high that it is rare anyone can meet them, so it is just easier for me to do whatever job needs done. That way I am assured it is done properly.
After these revelations, I am sure many of you reading this article are thinking privately that you are glad you’re not a member of my family. I likely sound impossible to please. The sad thing is, you’re doubtlessly correct in your assumption. I admit it, I am a hard person to please. It seems the older I get, the more compulsive I get, as well.
Yet, this very compulsiveness to have everything just “so-so,” this constant striving for perfection in every little thing has begun to take a toll on my life. I have literally made myself sick with this insane need to have everything ordered and perfect. I have suffered from migraine/tension headaches that have lasted eight days running, all brought upon by this self imposed stupidity. There may indeed be satisfaction found in a hard day’s work, but at this unrealistic level of excellence I demand, I’ve even found my own self impossible to please lately.
A good friend of mine once told me that I needed to lighten up, I was too tense. My initial reaction was to get offended by this. My backbone went up so much, I most likely looked like a cat cornered by a Saint Bernard. Lots of times, when truth is spoken, it does offend. As the old saying goes, “The truth hurts.” However, my friend was correct in their supposition. I AM too tense, and only through the Holy Spirit’s help can I change.
I often find myself amazed, however, regarding how God chooses to speak to me. Whoever thought He would use the lyrics of an old Rolling Stone tune to remind me of what my friend said?
He's right though, it is indeed time to lighten up. In the whole scheme of things, going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, or an upswept floor is not going to make a difference. It will not add a day to my life, nor will life end if a project remains half completed or a load of dirty laundry goes unwashed. What will make a difference is the attitude I display about it all to my family.
I know it won’t be easy. Changing life long habits never are. But through the Holy Spirit’s assistance, I can hopefully find a more positive song to sing.