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Topic: Rain (09/07/04)
TITLE: Going Home
By Pam Williams
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My energy was gone. My knees quivered as though I used every ounce of strength to slam on the brakes. I don’t feel like making a mad dash into the rain and I can’t stop my thoughts from racing in a million places.
How foolish of me! I must think that I am the keeper of my safety rather than God! I was warned, “stay out of the storm. The road could be dangerous!”
I could still hear Mom’s voice as I felt the car slide around a curve. And I could still feel the tightness in my throat as I rehearsed my words, “I can take care of myself. I know how to drive!” Those words echoed in my brain as I tried to regain control. But I didn’t. I slid into a 180-degree turn. My car screeched to a halt. I looked out my window and saw a two-inch strip of dirt between my car and a pit of trees and brush. Words in my head melted together as I felt blood rushing through my veins. For a moment my fingers clung to the wheel. A lump rose in my chest and I held my breath afraid to move.
“Whaaa…what if… what if I go over?”
Ever so slowly, I put the car in reverse. I listened, no sound of oncoming cars; just the pounding of rain. Slowly, I backed the car on the right side of the road. I could hardly put my foot on the gas. My feet trembled as I pressed the pedal.
I breathed, “Please God, help me to get home.”
In a few minutes, I pulled up to my house, cut off the engine and my thoughts went wild.
“What was I thinking? No one with good sense drives in this kind of storm – alone! If I had gone over the edge, no one would have found me for a long time.”
I slipped out of my car and into the rain. I leaned on the street light pole and lifted my face to the light. Big drops fell on my face as I cried and cried.
“God, please forgive me for being so dependent on myself,” I whispered. “Help me to depend on you and thank you for rescuing me from myself.”
The tightness in my chest faded as I felt the weight of my independence shift from my shoulders to God’s hands. Feeling a little stronger, I walked toward the door feeling calmer than when I first arrived.
I took a deep breath and thought, “I’m back on track but this time I'm letting God lead the way.”