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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SURPRISE (07/25/19)
The minutes of waiting seemed long in my anticipation for what was to come. The heart’s desire would soon be fulfilled; my mouth watered in expectation of the sweet pleasure set before me. Oh, the ecstasy I would feel once I taste its cream cheese and cinnamony goodness.

I was about to partake in a meal showcasing my favorite specialty pancakes that are comparable to a very large cinnamon roll. My mother and I were having a late breakfast at the well-known restaurant, chatting as we awaited our food. When Maria appeared, arms laden with steaming plates bursting with wondrous flavor, I’m sure my eyes lit up.

Look! See how artistically arranged is my plated stack of gratifying happiness. Inhaling deeply, I detect the fragrance of its spices and confection. My heart skips a beat in excitement as I pick up my eating utensil.

Gently slicing through the warm and oozing stack of hotcakes, my fork drips with creamy white sweetness as it enters my mouth.

And then my tastebuds fainted.

Like the anticipation of believing you were being proposed marriage to, only to discover he was breaking up, was the deflation of the hope of enjoying my favorite pancake. Taking a gulp of beverage to rinse out the taste, I stared in disbelief at the mockery on my plate. It looked similar, but when I dipped my fork into a strip of icing and brought it to my mouth, I recognized a counterfeit. This was not cream cheese. Oh, there was plenty of syrupy cinnamon, but it was mixed with what tasted more like vanilla frosting.

“Something’s not right about this stuff.” I said to Mom.

“What?” Mom was hearing impaired and I had to speak louder.

“Something’s not right about this stuff,” I repeated.

“I can’t hear what you said.”

Almost yelling, I rephrased my words. “This does not taste right. It’s bland.”

“Send it back.”

I saw that Maria was very busy, and did not want to bother her, so continued swallowing my disappointment. The food was unexciting — not what I anticipated. When our server came back to our table, I mentioned that the pancakes were not right. Apologizing, she went to speak with the cook to determine if a mistake had been made. She returned, declaring that they were out of the cream cheese filling, and in its place, brought a tiny pitcher of a milky sauce.

Sighing deeply, I poured the thin vanilla-pudding-like cream onto the remainder of my pancakes. It was not the rich wonderful cream cheese topping and filling that blended so well with the cinnamon mixture, but I accepted it for what it was, and spoke no more of it.

Mom and I continued our conversation, albeit loudly, and enjoyed our time together. We were preparing to leave, but had yet to receive the bill. Flagging down Maria, I asked for the check.

“Oh,” she answered, flicking her hand in a dismissive manner. “A couple paid for it before they left.”

What?… Who? … Why?… It was a wonderful surprise after experiencing the disappointing meal.

I will never know who paid for our breakfast, but it was greatly appreciated. The incident was also a reminder that my actions and speech are being observed as I live my life as a Christian.

But as for the meal snafu, I’m sure the absence of the delicious filling has been corrected, and the wrong will have been righted. So, until my return, I can only dream of the cinnamon and cream cheese goodness that dribbles over the sides of the four-layer stack of pancake, topped with a dollop of melting whipped cream. Even when I must pay for it myself.



“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 NIV
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This article has been read 431 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Dennis Gallemore
08/03/19
Really liked the phrase "...mockery on my plate." Good story!
C D Swanson 
08/03/19
Great title, and great message, along with great writing.
Well done,
Blessings~
Rachel Burkum
08/03/19
Great point, all while making my mouth water. My favorite line: "...plated stack of gratifying happiness." Oh, the joy of a delicious meal! Loved your descriptions, and your point.
Betty Castleberry
08/04/19
I want pancakes now. Your description of them was so well done. Good message, too. If I have any criticism at all, it's tiny. I think spoon or fork, etc., sounds better than "eating utensil." Helps with word count, too. One less word. ;) Great writing. Well done.
Laurie Glass 
08/05/19
I don't care for pancakes, but your descriptions made them sound yummy. I like how you brought surprise into your entry in more than one way.
Joanney Uthe 
08/05/19
Your descriptions make me hungry even though I just ate. I might go make me some pancakes.

I really like the contrast between your expectations and the analogy of an expected proposal being a break-up. The change of mood was very effective.
Yvonne Blake 
08/06/19
Mmmm... very good description (show vs. tell)
Although you didn't focus on it, my mind went to the couple who observed the scene and showed love and kindness anonymously. So powerful!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
08/06/19
I salivated my way through your delightfully written article--defnitely not a good surprise for you. I wondered if you were writing about iHop's cinnamon stack pancakes--my favorite, and my server always gives me extra cream cheese and whipped cream. Yum!
Mariane Holbrook
08/07/19
Well, that WAS a surprise. I held my breath until the ending, fearing it was something like rat poisoning. But you handled the situation better than I would have. I'd have sent it back to the kitchen after the first bite and ordered something entirely different on the menu. Good story!