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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)
Heart pounding, Abby sat straight up in bed. What had wakened her? Was it footsteps? A creaking door? Where was she? Was there a strange man in the house again? She braced herself for the shouting and bad words that so often woke her in the night. Where was Ellie?

Taking a trembling breath, more alert now, Abby looked around the room in the dim light. It was nearly morning and Ellie was in bed beside her. She reached over and touched her big sister. The room and bed were strange, but Ellie was right there. Abby listened intently for the sound that had wakened her. There it was again—soft footsteps, rattling of pans, clinking of dishes.

Abby lay down and snuggled close to Ellie. Now she remembered. They were in a new house with a new mommy. Mama Lois they called her. Those noises were Mama Lois in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Mama Lois had fixed breakfast every morning since the girls had moved in with her. Mama Lois didn’t sleep all morning like Mommy. Mama Lois was up even before the sun sometimes.

Abby drifted in and out of sleep, the sounds of morning in her new house enfolding her like a warm blanket. Was Mama Lois making pancakes this morning? Mama made pancakes yesterday, fluffy and tan, dotted with butter and covered in warm syrup. Or maybe it was eggs, served on a platter reminding Abby of little suns. Mama cut up pieces of buttered toast and showed the girls how to take the lids off the eggs, sprinkle on a little pepper and salt and dip the toast into the golden centers. Abby thought she had never tasted anything so delicious.

The kind man they called Daddy Jim ate with them every morning and at night too. He read them stories about Jesus and he talked to Jesus like he was right in the room. And Daddy Jim didn’t scream and shout or talk mean like some men. Abby missed Mommy a little and she even cried for her once, but Ellie told her to shut up. Ellie was bossy that way, but Abby was glad she was right here. She didn’t like going to new places without Ellie.

Abby was just drifting off to sleep again when she heard Mama Lois’s voice, cheery and bright, “Good morning girls!” Abby opened her eyes just as Mama Lois was pulling back the curtains. The room flooded with sunshine. “Rise and shine! Another day has dawned!”

Abby looked over at Ellie and smiled. Time for breakfast with Mama Lois!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Laury Hubrich 
05/22/13
A good ending for two little girls. I think you would probably get more reads if you had a different title. I loved this. I could hear the sounds and smell the food. Very good job!
Joanne Sher 
05/22/13
Delightful story with great details and a perfect tone. Thanks for sharing!