The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/12/12
This was a very interesting way of presenting the topic...Nicely done - good story with a lot of detail.
God Bless~
01/13/12
You’ve done an excellent job of “showing” commitment in your interesting story. I was drawn to little Manny and his dedicated and wonderfully ambitious attitude. I was so happy for him at the end that he got the pennies to buy that precious book, what I presume was a bible. Terrific children’s story, filled with life lessons. Thoroughly enjoyed the read!
The title caught my attention and the story drew me right in. Delightful and well done.
Excellent!! I was drawn in right at the start and cheered at the end.

Good writing!
01/15/12
This wonderfully creative story truly encapsulates the idea of commitment. Love the ending.
This is a beautiful story, with descriptive images easy on the imagination. It moves along at a readable pace and has a satisfying conclusion. I was a little puzzled by the final description: "his white smile"... ? But other than that, connects very well.
01/17/12
I think the white smile may be due to some chalk getting on his lips from all the intense rock pounding.
01/25/12
I love all your tangible detail in this story. Great work, Vonnie.
01/25/12
Cheryl and Nancy, thank you for your comments. I just wanted to explain that Bahamians have very dark skin, so when they smile, especially children, their teeth are exceptionally white - much more noticeable and beautiful than Caucasians.