The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Snap (09/04/08)
Fatigue. Sadness. Confusion. I’m on overload. My burdened mind cannot decipher the meaning of his words. I long to return to the days when all seemed clear. I need more time to figure it out. I need sleep. But I cannot sleep. I must watch. I must wait… and watch.

Following through on this assignment would be easier if he would explain more. I can hardly fight the effects of my evening meal, washed down with several servings of wine. I yawn and breathe in a cool rush of air. I rearrange myself in a proper sit, straightened up against a tree trunk. That should help to keep me awake. A burning sensation crowds my eyes and my eyelids fight to stay open.

I’ll just close them for a few moments and keep my ears attuned to my surroundings.

I’m floating. No, I’m gliding along in my boat. Ahhh! The familiar aroma of fish fills my nostrils. I can’t believe how many we’ve already caught. The net seems bursting again; this time the three of us together are unable to draw the enormous catch in. I grab an extra pole to slide it between the net to create more leverage.

As we hoist it up higher, the weight from the net tragically bends the pole. I hear a resounding “Snap!”

I open my eyes and frantically look around. I’m not on my boat anymore. It’s not possible! I fell asleep. How long? Another “Snap!” as a sandaled foot cracks brittle branches.

I see Jesus standing over me and the others. “Wake up. You all fell asleep! Now pray with me.”

I have no words. I nod. I cannot bear to look him in the eye. Wait and watch and pray. I’d forgotten he asked us to pray.

Pray. Wait. Watch. These are things I can do. I’ll pray like he taught us.

Father in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Heaven, Heaven…

The burning returns. I have to close my eyes. Now where was I? Pray and watch. Heaven…

Where am I? I’m following Jesus. Oh, I love this place. I’m glad Jesus is bringing us to worship in the sacred area of the temple. The sanctuary always seems like a little foretaste of heaven.

However, as usual, we first have to wade through the myriad of animals and brazen moneychangers at the entrance. Jesus moves out front, takes a seat on the steps and deftly braids the three pieces of leather he’s carrying into a long whip. He scans the courtyard absorbing all he’s seeing.

He unfolds into a stand and slides the braided whip through his palm. He turns around and raises the whip high in the air. “Snap! Snap!”

“Are you sleeping again?” Jesus stands before us shaking his head.

I want to defend myself and tell him the reason my eyes were closed was because I was praying. But I realize, for a second time I have fallen asleep and was dreaming. Remembering.

“Never mind. The hour is here. Let’s go.”

“Snap! Snap! Snap!” A crowd moves through the garden, crunching the fallen branches. They close in on us.

Judas advances toward Jesus, “Greetings Rabbi.” He brushes the Master’s cheek with his lips.

Although unarmed, Jesus is assaulted roughly by a group of soldiers who arrest him.

I must defend my Master. I draw my sword and hear it slice off the ear of the servant of the high priest.

Before a word can be spoken, Jesus performs another miracle and his hand mends the man’s ear. The weeping man holds his ear.

“No swords!” Jesus tells me, “if you draw your sword, so shall you also die. I can call on my Father to send legions of angels to protect me. But, then how would the fulfillment of the Scriptures occur?”

He speaks to the awed crowd, “Am I an armed rebel that you come after me with your weapons of choice? You could have arrested me in public while at the temple. But this event must occur to fulfill the prophecies concerning me.”

Retaliation. They will come after all of us. They are so many and we are so few. Nausea climbs the ladder of my throat and I recognize the bitter taste on my tongue. Move. Run. Get out of here my mind urges me. I turn to run.

“Snap!” The dried twigs announce our cowardly escape.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1542 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Leah Nichols 
09/12/08
Nice retelling! Great use of the topic.
Joanne Sher 
09/13/08
Great weaving of the topic throughout this. A very good retelling - love the dream addition to the Biblical account, and the look into Peter's heart.
Lynda Schultz 
09/13/08
Very well done. Peter's struggle is so real and you wove in the theme word very well.
Sharlyn Guthrie
09/18/08
Well done. I like the subtle, not over-done, use of the topic word throughout. You made it so easy to identify with all the sensations and emotions you described.
Kristen Hester
09/18/08
First of all, CONGRATULAIONS! This is excellent, excellent! I was so surprised when Jesus showed up. The beginning really caught my attention and I was trying to figure out the situation. This is VERY, VERY well done! Well deserved win!
LauraLee Shaw
09/19/08
This is incredible! Congats on your Editor's Choice! ;)
Chely Roach
09/20/08
Beautiful and chilling. Marvelous work. Congratulations!
Charla Diehl
09/23/08
Congratulations on your winning Editor's Choice award. Great job of retelling an old and familiar Bible story in such a way that Peter truly came to life for the reader. His emotions and feelings were so real and you wove them in perfectly. Also, superb job of tying into the topic.