The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/30/20
This is so well written I was just sure it was non-fiction! Nicely done.
I, too, thought this was nonfiction! Well done!
This is a powerful piece. I really enjoyed how the "dregs of society" turned out to be a huge part of God's plan and he used them and the MC in an interesting way. At first, I thought wind doesn't whisper and might've suggested another word like slithered or a touching verb, but as I read on, I think it worked. You did use more clichés (ocean filled with tears, second home, dregs of society) than I might, but you made them work, especially the delivered one (Whoa! What a great example of how to make an impact with a cliché! Outstanding job). I thought that was so powerful. So although there may have been a couple of little things you could tweak, I think your story was inspired by the Holy Spirit. I can see God using this story to speak to so many different people in as many different ways. Not only does that take talent, but courage and a connection with God. You've written an outstanding story, one that I will remember.
05/07/20
Fantastic story! God can really use so many people in our lives. Congratulations on your EC!