The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/06/20
Very creative, descriptive and insightful messages - of clear biblical truth and the need to keep family relationships fresh.
Cute story. If only someone's attitude really could change so easily!
Lovely story of how the truth changes the perspective.
You did an awesome job. I felt the conflicts right away and it pulled me in, eager to see how or if it would be resolved. There were a few errors that a proofreader should catch (I'm fairly sure that conger isn't the eel, but conquer ;) and there was some punctuation errors such as her's instead of hers). Those are little things though. I think you did a great job of having the topic throughout the piece in a few different ways, which was creative and spot on. The ending was wonderful. It was a beautiful epiphany that every mom can understand in one way or another. You had a clear, Christian message without it feeling preachy or over the top. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this powerful piece.
04/10/20
I really liked your story. I thought you did a great job with the emotions of the mother who had been wrapped up in herself, then going through guilt, going to pride, and then becoming more selfless. Well done.