Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: DREAM (01/02/20)
TITLE: My Barbie Dream Life
By Joanney Uthe
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Of course, the highlight of the playing was always the huge, dreamlike wedding almost every time. Barbie simply could not let a catch like Ken go without getting married. And the weddings got more and more elaborate as time went on.
I did outgrow my Barbie stage, but not my desire to be loved and treasured like Ken did Barbie. That is why when I met Jesse during my last year of college, I could not believe my luck. It was like my childhood dream was coming true. Jesse was my Ken.
Jesse was even more handsome than Ken. His black hair was curly, but well-kept. A former athlete who still played recreational sports, he was buff and agile. His wit and intelligence went far beyond what I even knew possible when I was young enough to play with Barbies. But more importantly, when I was with Jesse, I felt like the princess that I always imagined and wanted Barbie to feel like.
Jesse had a good job. I never really understood much when he talked about what he did, nor did he understand when I talked about my work. So we didn’t talk shop much. But he always had money and enjoyed spending it on me. He bought me jewelry, nice dinners, fancy clothes, and cruises.
Within a year, we were engaged to be married. It was the happiest time of my life. When my mom and I set a budget for the wedding coordinator, Jesse doubled it and said he would pay the difference. He made elaborate suggestions that I had not even dreamed possible. We had a Cinderella wedding and a lovely cruise for our honeymoon. My childhood dream life had come true.
Six months after the wedding, Jesse’s job transferred him to a different office: across the country. We moved thousands of miles from everyone I knew. But I had Jesse. My outgoing personality helped me make friends easily, so I adjusted. I found a job in my field, but the pay was less. Not that it mattered much, as Jesse was making even more money at his job.
But then my dream life turned into a nightmare. On one of his many nights working late, the police came to the door with the police chaplain. Jesse had been shot and killed in a drug deal gone bad. I refused to believe them. Jesse didn’t do drugs, and he certainly didn’t deal them. They must have the wrong guy. But the evidence they had proved me wrong. It turns out, I did not know my husband at all.
Yes, Jesse did have a 6-figure income from a legitimate job. This was the income that he let me know about. He qualified for the mortgage with this income. But he also had illegal income. Income from dealing drugs and human trafficking. My stomach was sick for a week after learning that.
Half a year after selling the house and moving back to my home state, I am still paying off the credit card debt left from my short marriage. Debt that I didn’t have any part in creating. Some of the debt incurred from things that I adamantly oppose. And yet, since it was a joint credit card and Jesse made the transactions, I am stuck footing the bill.
And now I am going to have to quit my second job and focus on taking care of Jesse’s child who is due to make an appearance in about a week. I am so thankful for my family, and being close to them again.
It is time to start new dreams. More realistic ones. Ones that include loving instead of focussing on being loved. Giving what is important, rather than receiving material things. I dream of really getting to know the people in my life, especially this child, rather than just seeing fairytale images. I dream of joy, not just happiness.
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