Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: FORGET (10/17/19)
- TITLE: Ultimate Battle
By Rachel Burkum
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â€œNo. I canâ€™t!â€ I scrunch my eyes shut tightly. â€œI wonâ€™t!â€
Fool! Where has he been all this time?
â€œHeâ€™s been with me. With me, I tell you.â€
Then why have you suffered so? Maybe heâ€™s been there, but no longer loves you.
â€œLiar!â€ My interlaced fingers turn almost white as I grip my own hands.
How is it a lie? He has abandoned you. Forgotten you. You should forget him, too.
I now feel the burning tears cascading down my contorted face. â€œI wonâ€™t! I refuse.â€
You are a fool and you know it.
â€œThe only fool is you, for thinking you could win this.â€
But Iâ€™ve won. Youâ€™re weakening. Just give in.
Already on my knees, I bend face-down to the floor, my fists still tightly clenched.
Let go! You know he cares nothing for you. Youâ€™re hurting. Youâ€™re alone.
â€œIâ€™m not alone!â€ Iâ€™m rocking now, fighting with all of my being. â€œHe is here. With me. Always.â€
Then why is your heart in pieces? Why have you lost so much? Your job? Your security? Your family? Everything you hold dear is gone. Remember?
â€œI remember!â€ My head shoots up in anger. â€œYou donâ€™t need to remind me of my pain. I feel it every day. But He is greater than that, and can heal my wounds.â€
Then why doesnâ€™t he? I ask again: where is he? I donâ€™t see him.
I straighten my torso, straining against the emotional barrage. â€œYou donâ€™t see Him because you are blind. You have been ever since you defied Him.â€
And rightfully so. He is not what he says. He will let you down. He has proven that already.
â€œNo! The world may have let me down but He has not. He has been with me all this time. He has never left my side.â€
If that were true, your mother wouldnâ€™t have died. Your brother wouldnâ€™t have left. You wouldnâ€™t feel like you were hanging on by a mere thread.
I stop. And I wonder for just a moment, if it were true. But the gnawing in my soul reminds me who Iâ€™m dealing with. â€œIf it werenâ€™t for Him,â€ I hiss, â€œI would have nowhere to turn.â€ I muster up the strength to move one leg, then the other until I am standing once again. â€œBut I do have somewhere to turn. My Lord and Savior will never leave or forsake me. He is the beginning and the end. The all-powerful, all-mighty God of the universe.â€ My voice raises with every syllable until I am shouting. â€œI have chosen to follow Him no matter what this world does to me, and I will not abandon my faith! I. Will. Not. Forget.â€
The following silence is deafening. All is still. And I sense a void where the persistent deceiver has been. Knowing he is now absent, I feel every ounce of tension crumbling. But I am now wrapped in a soothing warmth that has been there all along. I wipe my tears and maybe even smile. I have been through so much. I am so weary. But the voice I have clung to for so very long speaks directly to my burdened heart.
I love you. I am here to carry you. I am here to comfort you. Well done, my child. Now rest... and allow my peace to heal you.
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