The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 223 times
Member Comments
Very well written. Thought provoking—thankfulness for religious freedom, sadness for not being as bold and courageous as the early church. But a blessed reminder that this world is not our home and our refuge is in the cleft of the Rock.
This is a well written story, but it fails to take advantage of dramatic methods merely because of how paragraphs are ordered.

First paragraph is not needed.

Starting with, "at first we kept to ourselves even in company", sparks interest with story questions.

Where have they come from? Why are they worrying, obsessing over whom they should associate with? Why tne spies? Are they in danger? Who is their enemy?

These story (dramatic) questions keep reader reading and as you answer these questions more will arise from continuation of plot to pique interest.

Adding second paragraph, "My husband and i talked in whispers reveals just enough to continue revelation of plot...
This is like many situations today, where Christians are facing persecution. Very scary indeed!
You've done a good job of stepping into the early Christians' shoes. You showed the fear and the danger. It could use some tightening to quicken the pace and some dialog, body language, and thoughts to do more showing and less telling. Overall, you nailed the topic, delivered a clear message that is still so relevant in today's world, and put a lot of information in only 750 words. Good job.
Fantastic job with this entry, good message and powerful close.
How unique! I don't think I've ever read a story from the POV of Priscilla. That certainly was a troubling time.
Sometimes, I wonder if we are headed for days like this again. It's during these times that I am reminded that our Lord will be with us as He promised. He is our refuge. This is a terrific account of those days, complete with the thoughts and wonderings of "who can I trust."

Nice work.

The haunting, yet hopeful, tone of this piece leaves its mark on the reader. Very thought provoking. It inspired me to pray that I will be found so faithful. Excellent!
Congrats on your EC!