The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow! I like the way you lead in with the couple's intimate time, and then ended with such a shocker. Great job in story telling!
08/03/19
Wow! I can't think of a worse surprise. You did a great job setting the scene and building the expense.
08/03/19
Very authentic tones and emotions here in this entry.
You certainly nailed the topic in a big way.

Blessings~
08/03/19
Well-written! Definitely on topic, and what a shocker. I like the wife's willingness to listen to the daughter rather than just denying the situation and kicking her out.
Indeed. Our sins will track us down. Wonderful writing. Well done.
08/04/19
You held my attention with this one, and you nailed the topic for sure. Well done.
08/05/19
Wow! I felt the shock and anger, and also the sympathy for Sasha. Excellent writing.
Now that sounds like the unhappiest surprise of all! You surely put your reader in a sympathy with both female characters. Well done.
08/07/19
I can't think of a worse surprise than this. (Well, I can, but this ranks way up near the top.) Can you believe this happened to one of my sister's in-laws? The difference was that the person at the door was from the FBI, sent to arrest the guilty husband. Your entry was great, concise and well-constructed. Kudos !
08/08/19
Great job crafting the story and characters.

I found the dad's abrupt drop to humility and apologizing to be a bit unrealistic. After years of stringing both families along without any sign of guilt why would be suddenly be apologetic just because he got caught.
08/08/19
Congrats on your EC
Superb writing
Blessings~