The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I was intrigued when I saw your title, and that yours was the first entry! This was a cute story, and it was speaking about what the title suggested. What a fun surprise.
Sweet story!
Well done,
Charming story with well-developed characters. Although I knew where it was going, it was still a fun read. Thumbs up!
This was a cute story. I enjoyed heating the voices of each character.

Some red ink: try starting your sentences with more active verbs and fewer -ing phrases (I forget what those are called). This will help with the story flow.