The Official Writing Challenge
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Well written. An interesting conversation between God and Abraham. I like how it ended. A reader not knowing the story would be tempted to search the scriptures to find how many righteous men were in the two towns.

Your description of Abraham moving like an old man was good except when he jumped up and ran excitedly. Given your other description of his weak legs, I doubt he could jump and run, no matter how excited he was. I’m the voice of experience:)
Great take on the topic! At first read through, I was confused as to who was who, but then figured it out. Definitely fits the topic.
You do a nice job of retelling this story. I enjoyed the passion in Abraham's heart, and it is something we definitely need to show in our own hearts. For me the, sudden change at the ending was a bit abrupt. You did a great job of painting your message throughout the story, so the last line felt too much for me. Trust in yourself that your delightful retelling got your message through, and the reader will come to that conclusion on her own. You did a fine job of writing on topic. I can feel your passion as well. Good job.