The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/21/19
Fun story! And I was NOT expecting that twist at the end!

Check the meaning of the word 'trollop' though.

And at one point you misspelt Joseph's name.

I loved this story though - so well written and the final lines were great.
02/21/19
Great twist at the end :D. Good stuff, great descriptions of him trying to squeeze in under the side of the tent.
Your descriptions are strong. I felt like I was there. Did not expect that ending. Nicely done.
Poor Joseph! Loved the twist.
02/22/19
Great job with this!
I enjoyed it immensely.
WEll done,
Blessings~
02/23/19
Hehe. Sometimes we have to take the "little" victories, don't we? :D I like this.
02/23/19
Interesting! I didn't expect it to be his father, but hoped he'd find forgiveness.
I saw a few typos. It would help you to get a proofreading buddy. I know I miss something every time I write.
Good story. Keep it up.
02/24/19
A fun take on the topic with a surprise ending. What's not to like. Well done.
You really had me guessing, but I could never have guessed the ending correctly. I loved that Joseph won, but I felt sad that he didn't get to see the circus! Good story!
02/24/19
You rascal !!! I didn't expect that ending, either. But the twist was what made it a great story. And yes, he did WIN !! Good job !!
02/26/19
Thanks for a very descriptive, fun read - complete with its twists and suspense.
02/27/19
Very descriptive--I could picture this boy trying to crawl his way into the tent. The ending was a surprise; I didn't think it was his dad.