The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Honestly, it's kind of a lot of circuitous dialog to wade through to get to the point... If that was intended to mirror the theme, then it worked...
I enjoyed this story and how the lack of a map was really the big problem. I like the way praying together made the difference.
I loved how you described the moment: “Good idea.” June reached for Jim’s hand as she too spoke with a smile in her words. Prayer was already having the desired effect.

In the last para. did you mean started instead of stated?
A bit monotonous dialog in the first half. A little more showing, giving the read something to visualize might hold the reader a bit better. Loved the reminder that prayer is always the better way to go. Good effort.
You did a fine job with the dialog. It felt authentic and I've heard several similar ones throughout my life! I liked your clear Christian message in the end.
I'm glad it turned out happy in the end- so many of these in real life are full-blown fights!
I loved how you showed a couple under stress and taking it out on each other verbally could catch themselves and reset or 'start over'.
Loved this whole piece, thank you for sharing with us.
It held an authentic tone.

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 16th overall! Happy Dance!