The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/07/19
Honestly, it's kind of a lot of circuitous dialog to wade through to get to the point... If that was intended to mirror the theme, then it worked...
02/07/19
I enjoyed this story and how the lack of a map was really the big problem. I like the way praying together made the difference.
02/07/19
I loved how you described the moment: “Good idea.” June reached for Jim’s hand as she too spoke with a smile in her words. Prayer was already having the desired effect.

In the last para. did you mean started instead of stated?
A bit monotonous dialog in the first half. A little more showing, giving the read something to visualize might hold the reader a bit better. Loved the reminder that prayer is always the better way to go. Good effort.
You did a fine job with the dialog. It felt authentic and I've heard several similar ones throughout my life! I liked your clear Christian message in the end.
I'm glad it turned out happy in the end- so many of these in real life are full-blown fights!
02/13/19
I loved how you showed a couple under stress and taking it out on each other verbally could catch themselves and reset or 'start over'.
02/14/19
Loved this whole piece, thank you for sharing with us.
It held an authentic tone.

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 16th overall! Happy Dance!