The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/18
This drew me in and held my attention all the way through. It's great how you were able to tell his life story in the form of a letter. Well done.
What stands out to me about this story is the pitiful condition you described so vividly that marred a boy's heart to love. I'm thankful for people like the lady writing the letter for their kind hearts, and I'm thankful that the boy who couldn't love found the best love of all. Well written.
You grabbed my attention right away and kept it all the way. I like the letter format, it is different and fresh, but leaves out opportunities for dialog, body language or thoughts. It does feel intimate though. You didn't need to include the topic word near the end because you did a strong job of showing the true meaning of broken. Your message is clear and powerful.