Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: BROKEN (12/06/18)
- TITLE: A Crumbled Life
By Laurie Glass
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With impaired ability to process information, undependable memory, and difficulty in concentrating, my mind is not the same. I wish there was a way to revert from the mush back to the solid focus I once had. It’s hard to cope with an unreliable mind, so I try to focus on something bigger than myself, but the fog gets in the way.
Nothing is the same. I can no longer work, engage in social events, or go to church. Even hobbies are a memory. I remain at home, isolated, forlorn, and wondering how and why this happened. I desire divine help to accept unanswered questions, but I feel so far away.
My heart responds to a life that has crumbled. Cracks give way and pieces fall. I weep as I grieve for what I’ve lost, what could have been, and what will never be. I feel I’m drowning in a sea of disappointments, and my heart can’t be consoled. I try to look toward the light, but tears prevent me from seeing beyond the shadows.
A malfunctioning body, a foggy mind, a splintered life, and a shattered heart. Is this really all there is? At first glance, it’s all I can see. But wait. Finally, there’s a glimmer of light shining through the pieces. I look closer. A verse comes to mind, one I haven’t thought of for a long time: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3) I rest in this for a moment as I picture myself lying with my head in my Father’s lap and feel him stroke my hair, calming me, and reassuring me of his presence and devotion. I allow myself to bask in this soothing moment. Nothing is fixed, nothing is put back together, and no problems are solved. Even so, as I let God’s love peek through the dark remnants all around me, I feel a hint of peace. It’s a start.
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