The Official Writing Challenge
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Yes, that was definitely strength and dignity! Loved it. The one part I thought could use a "tweak" was when the headmaster used the slang "we don't go" doing this or that which contradicted his very proper language of his other dialogue. The story is really sharp though. Thank you!
What if everyone who posted in Challenge entries also commented on/critiqued at least three others? I'm shocked that so many post, and so few read and post a review for others. It seems only a few people have the courtesy to critique but would like the critiques on their own. I am new here, and originally was excited about this site. If you are one who DOES regularly read and comment on others work, then may the Lord bless you mightily and publish you quickly.
A very interesting story. You left me wanting to know more about what happens next. Well written, and a well-developed protagonist.
This piece made me think of the Stepford Wives. Also wonder if the author experienced a cult like this!? I was captivated by the story and caught up in the tension. Great job of pulling the reader in.
Wow, wow, and did I say wow? You are brilliant, my friend, simply brilliant. You nailed the topic in a fresh way. You introduced the conflicts right away and they held my attention right to the very end. It was brilliant! Congratulations and of course my happiest of Happy Dance!
No wonder you are the quarterly challenge winner for Level 4 Allison. This is a thought-provoking take on the topic and touches on some of the controlling behaviours seen in some churches in times past. Your story leaves me wanting to find out how things went for Esther after sticking her neck out. I can imagine this becoming a longer story. Great writing!
Esther is an intriguing character! I would like to know more about her. When did she start feeling conflicted about her religion? What made her take this risk at this time?

What will happen to Esther?

I hope you continue to develop this well-written story and the opportunity to explore the bigger theme of vanity.

This definitely peaked my interest! I want to know more!
Very well-written story! I love stories that enable me to visualize exactly what's happening and that leave me wanting more. This one satisfies both. What happened to Esther next?

I do have one criticism, or perhaps more of a question than a criticism. The punitive measures seem a little extreme and improbable, regardless of the period in which this story is set. In particular, the slap on the face seems an unlikely scenario. Other than that, I loved this story and hope to read more!
Fantastic story with a poignant message...congratulations on your BOB!
Insightful piece of writing, Allison!
I really enjoyed reading the story, and I carefully observed your style of writing too. I have much to learn, and I read your story as an example of what high quality writing looks like, so thank you.