The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great way to approach the topic, well done!
This is a sweet story. You did a nice job of building suspense and showing conflicts. A couple of tiny things: strawberry-blonde hair (hyphen and add e for female), Mom (when being used as a name) and Bible should both start with a capital letter. I think you did a nice job of sprinkling the topic throughout. College and even high school or earlier is full of temptations. Your message is timely.