Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD (08/03/17)
- TITLE: Huh?
By C D Swanson
08/07/17 -
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Dangling participle
Comma here, comma there…
Too vague
Where’s the connection?
Paragraph here, paragraph there…
Off topic
Too much topic
POV switch here, POV switch there…
Very clever
Too clever
Wrap up here, open ended there…
Almost made it
Didn’t make it
Too wordy here, not enough content there…
Knew where this was going
The ending was disappointing
Too preachy here, not enough conviction there…
Kind of cheesy
Too disconnected
Too much sentiment here, not enough heart there…
Tell don’t show
Show don’t tell
Too convoluted here, too much clarity there…
Realistic dialogue
Over the top and sanctimonious
Too much pretense here, too much truth there…
Unbelievable behavior for a child MC
A boring drawn-out sluggish plot
Too much action here, not enough action there…
Not a fan of prose
This isn't prose
The rhythm is off here, not enough meters there…
Can’t figure this out
Figured it out too soon
Needs a slow buildup here, quickly wraps up there…
Could have said more
Should have said less
Typo here, editing issues there...
Bing--bang--boom goes my heart
Okay, back to the beginning
Hmmm, let’s see, where do I start?
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I don't critique much but I have seen many of those you have put together.
It is a unit and all belongs together. You don't need to go back to the drawing board for this one. People will notice it and "USE IT".
I wonder if it will get into a high school text book or is this even taught in high school any more.
Great job.