Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: BRAG (04/20/17)
- TITLE: A Legend in His Own Lunchtime...
By Noel Mitaxa
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Mike glanced down at the paper and turned it around so he could begin to read its contents. With a growing sense of shock and awe―which was rapidly overtaken by scepticism.
“So, Harvey has applied to join Experts International, has he? I knew that he and modesty don’t live in the same neighbourhood, but he’s listed quite the array of achievements here,” he murmured – taking note of bare-handed bear-wrestling, and outjumping a kangaroo from a standing start.
“He sure has,” came the reply. “Who’d a thought that he would indulge in all this excitement during his annual vacations. But this is only the summary list that he left on my office desk, because Experts International requires applicants to fill out a forty-page curriculum vitae. But don’t take my word for it; look at who’s just come in.”
They turned to face the figure who was swaggering their way - every movement expressing how nice to see me! as he swung himself into a chair.
“Well hello Harvey, we see you’ve…” Brett began, before he was interrupted with an avalanche of arrogance.
“Sure have, my good friends. I feel it’s time I stretched to more regular association with other high-achievers. But if you look carefully at that summary, you’ll see that I’ve also listed some of my heritage, because my family has done so many amazing things as well.
“My brother broke an alligator’s tail with a single judo chop!
“I’ve ridden a rhinoceros without a saddle.
“My father swam the English Channel in only six hours.
“Grandpa ghost-wrote for Ian Fleming - without him James Bond would have been James Bombed!
“I can play twelve different instruments, and speak fluently in six languages
“I’ve got a cousin who plays golf off a handicap of three. And twelve times he’s hit a hole in one!
“I’m learning to catch bullets in my teeth, and next year I’m planning to climb Mt Everest without oxygen – and barefoot! I won’t have to worry about sponsorship, because my Uncle Harry is loaded. He made his first million before he was nineteen years of age!”
Mike opened his mouth, but Harvey cut him off. “Fellas, our family is so talented that my aunt even won an art prize with a photo-realistic portrait that she painted while standing up in a hammock. She had to do it that way so she would have more of a challenge!”
Mike persisted. “Harvey, it looks like you and your family have made your mark. But have you ever heard of the Dead Sea?”
Harvey paused for breath. “The Dead Sea? Why, sure I have. Who hasn’t? But why do you ask?”
A smirk enveloped Mike’s face.
“Because my grandpa shot it!”
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