The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/16/17
Nice story!

I like the playful feel to the writing, even when the little sister was in the space ship.

Some might comment that you could have created more drama and emotion with the space ship situation- after all, the MC almost lost her little sister to aliens. But often a child doesn't realize the gravity of a situation and the young MC probably would have written it just this way for a class assignment.

I'll be interested in the comments of others on that question.

I also liked the ending, maybe a little abrupt, but still a good way to wrap it up for the MC.
03/21/17
What a clever surprise at the end. Very entertaining.
Congratulations on ranking 12 overall. Happy Dance!