Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TALKATIVE (09/08/16)
- TITLE: For Now I Will Talk
By lynn gipson
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The words a cancer patient does not want to hear. After fighting the dreadful illness for seven years, the last ounce of hope drained from my body, and I felt my face flush with both relief and pain. I wasn’t ready to go yet, but at the same time I was tired of the fight. I could finally let go and accept whatever God had in store for me the next six months or less.
I had already lived seven years past my original expiration date. In August of 2009, I was rushed to hospital with seizures from a brain tumor. It was at that time doctors discovered a large mass at the base of my spine. The brain tumor nearly killed me, but a gifted surgeon quickly removed it and saved my life.
My next diagnosis came within days. Stage 4 colorectal cancer with very little chance of survival for the next six months, Doctors were wrong again. Extensive surgery and chemotherapy killed the tumor, and I was in remission for two years!
The dreaded monster reared its ugly head once again in 2012, and the fight continued for 4 more years. Victories were won at times, but the tumor continued to shrink and grow until all means of treatment had been exhausted, which leads me to a few days ago, in my oncologist’s office.
Six months or less. What does one do with those words? File them away and try to forget them? Pretend you never heard them, or last but not least, cry?
Not me, I started talking. For the first time in my life, this reserved little introvert started talking to people I love, people I don’t love, and most importantly, God! I have talked more in the last week than I have in the last seven years. I started telling perfect strangers about my life and impending death, whether they wanted to hear it or not.
People may find me strange, I talk so much. There is so much I have wanted to say but was too afraid to say. I am outspoken, unafraid to speak up for myself, defend the truth. It is liberating. Before I learned I had so little time left to talk, I was timid, shy, and mousy. No longer the case with me.
I call people up and talk. I tell them I love them, that I am sorry for any wrong I have done them, and I ask their forgiveness. I talk about old times, good times, and bad times.
I have been renewed by talking. Why didn’t I do this before? Holding things inside, bottling up feelings and for what? Fear of being rejected. I no longer feel that fear, because I feel my Lord and Savior with me, closer than ever.
The time is coming when my earthly voice will be quieted, but my spiritual voice will speak to my loved ones here on earth. It will speak of love, forgiveness, and it will speak of the truth.
I also talk to God non-stop. So much to say, and so little time. My heart speaks to Him like never before. I rejoice at the thought I will soon be with Him, and all the worries of the world will be left behind me. Peace at last. However, for now I will talk.
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