The Official Writing Challenge
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08/12/16
Powerful build up of tension - matched by grace. Very sensitively handled story.
I really like the premise of this story, and it fits the topic well.
What I'm having trouble putting my finger on is why I don't feel more connected with the MC. I wonder if it might have connected with me more effectively if you had used first person italicized thoughts instead of telling us that she's thinking this and decided that.
I wish I had had such loving family support, but God sustained me, and we have 33 years of marriage with which He has blessed us.
08/14/16
A powerfuland moving story, tenderly told and right on topic. Great writing!
08/14/16
Wow! This is a powerful story. I absolutely love the ending. The mother's response is so loving with no condemnation.
08/15/16
Wow! What a great job you did of showing us what your MC was going through! I'll admit that, at first, I was put off by you choosing to not use quotes for the dialogue, but, by the end I felt the additional impact that choice made on the story and I applaud the artistic choice you made in not doing it. Instead of breaking out of the mind's eye story you were weaving with Laurie, you encapsulated the brief dialogue into it, and the result was a rhythmic piece that almost comes across as prose.

Awesome job!
08/16/16
Wow, this is a power packed story that quickly drew me right into the emotion of such an often, real-life situation.Teen pregnancy is a tough topic which needs to be addressed. And I adore the non-judgmental love of this good mother, giving her child precisely what was needed at that time.

Too late for sermons, or moral judgments—a new life has been created. I could visualize the range of feelings flooding across the mother's face, and felt the MC's fear in the way she pled for understanding before even revealing the problem by the way she addressed her mother: "Mom, Mom, Mommy". That worked well for me. Great job!
08/18/16
I think this perfectly captures the fear of many young Christian girls who find themselves pregnant. Fear of judgement from fellow Christians tends to delay confession, but a growing baby will not allow for too much procrastination. We should all learn from the grace and love extended by Mommy. Great work.
When you want to jump into the story and push a character into making a decision, you know you're a witness of excellent writing.
This was my favourite entry this week - so powerful and so sensitively written. The two characters became so real, it was almost as if we were sharing their struggles and emotions. Wonderful writing.
08/31/16
Your story illuminated a major fear many of us share. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we felt the freedom to be exactly as messy and broken as we are - knowing we would be the recipients of almost instantaneous grace, in at least some of our vertical relationships as we do with our horizontal One.