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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TRUST (07/21/16)
With a buzzing like bees, I corkscrew down, plummeting, sideswiping a dresser with my head even as I somehow think I am reaching my bed in time to prevent the ultimate collapse. No such luck.

I awaken scant seconds later, my wife's concerned face swimming into view, 911 already dispatched and I think, "I'm OK. I can just lever myself back into bed, rest a second. It's nothing." I've always been healthy. I trust I'll bounce back.

I'm feeling almost normal by the time the paramedics arrive and find nothing abnormal with my heart, but the wheels of modern medicine are engaged and I'm heading to the emergency room. They find nothing alarming. Dehydration. Maybe a touch of anemia. And I trust their diagnoses and head home.

Things don't feel right and my wife is still alarmed and, what's this, a tar-colored stool? And we're back to the hospital, this time for more intensive tests. Blood work. Endoscopy. "Did you know you have a bleeding ulcer? ... And Barrett's esophagus? That's a strong predictor of esophageal cancer you know. We'd like to do some biopsies ..."

And I trust that this time they'll get it right. But I don't want that particular diagnosis. Barrett's can be treated with diet, anti-reflux meds. Cancer? Not so much.

I hear the biopsy results on a short vacation, by phone. It's esophageal cancer, stage 1. Amazing that we caught it this early really. Easily treated too. Just cut you open around the diaphragm and the throat and reach our hands in from both ends and rip out your esophagus and pull up your stomach and stitch it. Good as new.

Well, actually we don't promise that.

I'd like to trust them, but God, isn't there an easier path? I find a surgeon who will scrape out the tumor and that seems to go well. But he just can't get it all. It's a little too deep in the surrounding tissue. He recommends ... removing the esophagus.

While I procrastinate there are more tests and, "Oh, there's a 'suspicious' spot on your left lung we'd like to biopsy. Probably nothing. Never smoked did you?"

No. Never smoked. Did I mention I've always been healthy? Can't we just ignore the spot on the lung? I'm really pretty overwhelmed with the esophagus.

But it seems that if the lung spot IS cancerous and if it ORIGINATED with the espophagus then the whole treatment regimen changes. We call in chemotherapy. We invoke radiation. We start spiraling into realms nobody wants to explore. So, yes, let's deal with the lung spot.

A week before the surgery, I have a lucid dream: I awaken from surgery, breathing easily and look at the people gathered in the recovery room and say, "I guess it wasn't cancer!" And they all nod in agreement.

This particular dream is not prophetic. I awaken from the surgery minus the upper lobe of my left lung, in considerable pain. My breathing is labored. But I trust the surgeons have gotten all of the lung cancer.

I rally in the cancer ward. I set new records for the number of times I circumnavigate the floor in my flapping hospital gown. After 25 laps, an orderly shuffles up to me and says, "You inspire me to do my job better." How odd.

In the days that follow I learn how really miraculous it is that they found this lung spot, also stage 1. And how very unusual it is for someone to have TWO different stage 1 cancers that are NOT related to each other and that have NO symptoms. Clearly, God is in this. But what is He up to?

In three weeks, when I have the esophagus removed, I trust I will find out.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Laury Hubrich 
07/30/16
I certainly hope you have good news. We've been going through Lymphoma with our 24 year old son. Cancer is not for the weak, that's for sure. Trusting God is the only answer. Our son didn't get the right diagnosis for a year from one of the very best hospitals. Good thing we can cling to God! <3
Bonnie Bowden 
08/04/16
Congratulations, Al, on placing #1 in the EC awards this week. I don't recall seeing your name before. Are you a returning writer?

It was really miraculous to find two unrelated cancers both at stage one. Your story is inspirational, and I hope they eradicate both cancers quickly.

My brother had Barrett's, but it went away on its own. He still had the surgery and has remained healthy.

My prayers go up to you and your family.

Lillian Rhoades 
08/04/16
So glad you won first place, Al. May this be a sign of God's good and gracious intentions towards you for many years to come.

Congratulations!
Tracy Nunes 
08/04/16
Hard to comprehend or even imagine. This is TRUST - all caps. I pray that His perfect work is accomplished in and through you and that you are completely healed. And...awesome writing!
Ellen Carr 
08/07/16
Congratulations, Al, on your well-deserved 1st place EC. You are very brave to have written on such a personal and difficult subject and you have done it really well, with no sugar-coating, with moving realism, and yet expressing your hope through God. May God bless and heal you.
Belinda Peoples
08/09/16
Al, I'm so glad for you that the topic was 'Trust' at just the right time for you to take up God's opportunity to share your journey of trusting Him with many through Faithwriters. You've written about it so well and it's clear you live out your trust in God even better!
Jennifer Liang 
08/19/16
Great descriptions. Thank you for sharing.
Bea Edwards 
08/22/16
You gave us an astounding testimony of trust in the midst of trials. Thank you for the inspiration and congratulations on your first place EC and level win over 125 entries. Well done!
Al Boyce
08/23/16
For those who asked, the esophagectomy was done Aug. 12th and exceeded the surgeon's expectations.

And for anyone keeping score, they found a third stage-one cancer in my stomach, unrelated to the other two, and removed it during the operation. So I am possibly cancer free at this writing.

I am home recovering, tolerating eating fairly well and the pain is gradually declining.

The time away, the hiatus from the normal, even the drugs have given me huge insights into the human condition that I feel will knit seamlessly into everything I do going forward.

Will there be a final revelation as to God's plan in all of this? I don't know, but I am still trusting.