The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/16
I love how the young girl was going to bring the tribes together!
07/22/16
In a foreboding atmosphere, a young girl brings the light of simple wisdom. Well done.
I really enjoyed the beginning. You painted a great picture. I felt like I was right there and the conflict was palpable.

For me, the dialog felt stilted and so formal it was hard to follow at times. I understand this was to help place the proper era, but for me I found it a bit difficult to fully immerse myself in the story because of that.

You definitely nailed the topic and covered a part of history I often forget about, yet is still so relevant in today's world especially. The suspense was great, and I enjoyed the resolution of the conflict. Nice job.
07/27/16
Was very easy to envision this taking place as I read. I like how the young girls honest wisdom breaks through the suspicion and distrust. This could easily be expanded into a greater message and story. Enjoyed the read
Congratulations on your EC! Happy Dance!
07/30/16
Congratulations,Tiffanie, on winning 10th place in the EC awards this week.

You did a great job of introducing the characters. I am glad it was a young girl (child) that led them all together.
08/22/16
You created a unique entry, full of promise for an expanded story.