The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 426 times
Member Comments
This was deep and profound in its content and delivery.

Well done.

Beautiful. Precious moments of honorable beauty are stumbled upon--not commonplace anymore, sadly.

Well written. I enjoyed this story.

I like how you have lifted your MC, through her personal smorgasbord of sadness, so she could see an opportunity to lift someone else instead of first looking for her own answer. Great job.
As always, your mastery of language is worth the read alone ("stagnant pool in my soul", the "brittle" sky, the description of the boy's ruckus). There is such an artistry to your writing. You also set the scenes for us so well, giving me a film-like picture in my mind of the MC's surroundings.

As I re-read this to pick out the phrases I liked the most, I fell more and more in love with the writing itself. Thanks for sharing it with us.
You craft a well descriptive story. I was intrigued, and continued to read more. I like how you connected your plight with that of the mom and young boy. Nice job.
A pleasure as always. Masterful. The MC's sweet old cat died in January. What a way to start a year and a subtle way to begin this exploration of this character. She probably mostly talked only to her cat prior to its passing. She filtered everything through her bestfriend. Now, she had to learn a different voice, and describe life and memories a new way. The year started with the death of an old ear, the bottom opposite of Zenith and she had to climb up and describe what she seen foward, seeing how it was a new year with no cat to talk to.
Excellent as always. I am probably way of base, but that is what spoke to me. I enjoyed spending time with you again. You make it read so easy, but we know its not easy at all. A+.
You wanted red ink. A lot of gray space, (Ya that's it) but when you write as smoothly as you do, you pull us through and make us read on. And one final compliment, or observation, the voiceless boy; I believe she could identify with him as she learned a new voice. Your MC's boyfriend was just a boyfriend and the last bad thing mentioned, but the cat, was first. That was her love. OK I carried this cat thing on long enough, but in my first comment I didn't give you credit for the beautiful description of the boy with no voice and the love of his mother.
There is a wealth of detail in this deep and meaningful story. A haunting memory of mother and child, battling against the odds and the finger pointing, struck a chord deep inside and had me reaching for the tissues. The cat and the boyfriend, brother and mother set the scene well for the MC's despondency and 'sourness,' but the way you turned it all around was brilliant. You make it look so easy. Great job!
Brother? Let's try nephew!
Beautifully descriptive and well deserving of your EC. Congratulations.
Congratulations on your EC place, Jan. I love this story. It is tender and moving, and extremely well told. I like the way the scene with the little boy and his mother broke through to the MC in a way nothing else had been able to. Great writing!
Congratulations on your EC placement!
Being in the midst of an unfortunate sour place I was able to identify with your MC too closely for Christian comfort. You know... the "Rejoice always, pray and give thanks" instruction which doesn't seem to stimulate a needed attitude shift.

I'm going to the beach!

As always, you gave us a superbly crafted multi faceted story.