The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I admit that this one brought tears to my eyes. The pathos and pacing were excellent. I was afraid something had happened during her second deployment, so was most relieved when it turned out to be such a happy, albeit sentimental occasion.
I liked the reflection of Abbi growing up over the years. Two deployments would be tough for any father, but I'm glad she made it back safe and sound.
Nice use of the theme throughout the showing of Abbi Junebug's life. I liked the surprise ending too. I have already flagged your story as a favorite. I hope it does well!
I love sentimental stories, and this was a "big" one.

Being Daddy's little girl reading this made me think of my own amazing late Dad...loved the ending.

I'm such a sucker for "sappy endings."

Congrats Leola!

Your story was my favorite this glad you received a worthy EC. I would have picked this to win everything overall.
Loved it...

Congratulations, Leola, on your well deserved 9th place EC award!
So descriptive and vibrant, with enough pauses to catch your breath (or to make swallowing just a little more difficult.)
Do our kids grow up too fast?But it's harder if they don't grow up at all.
The ending wrapped it up beautifully. Congrats on a well-deserved EC.
I was so relieved that Abbi survived the second deployment and her daddy was reminiscing prior to her wedding.

Great job keeping the reader engaged!