The Official Writing Challenge
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03/04/16
I love Camden and Wrigley and all their antics. This is a wonderful message for kids and told in a manner that they can understand.
03/05/16
Hahahah! Great job with the topic and I particularly loved the ending with glitter!

Blessings~
03/05/16
This is such a cute and well written story, and bang on topic too. Loved it!
03/06/16
Clever parallels with strong dialogue and credible characters. Well done.
03/06/16
Really good object lesson!

Something you might want to take a look at is using too many of the same sentence structures. I counted at least 20 sentences with the same structure: a character does a thing (in past tense), followed by a sentence of dialogue. You'll find six such sentences in a row, starting with Camden rubbed his foot. There's nothing wrong with that sentence structure, but it's also good to shake it up again.

You also might want to check out this week's lesson on realistic dialogue.

I liked the sweet and sassy ending.
03/12/16
You said you were embarrassed to throw a brick on this one. Whatever rewriting it needs, you have a great structure to work on. I enjoyed it despite its problems.