The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/11/16
You've succinctly captured the mix of dependence, expectancy and ownership that come with the territory of helping people when they're in survival mode - with no luxuries like rotas to enjoy. Well done.
02/14/16
This poetry has a level of depth to it. Each time I read it, I gleam another truth.
02/16/16
Your story is still swirling in my head. That makes it memorable, right? You captured many scenes well.
Your poem has real depth, leaving much to consider. I enjoyed it.
Need has no respect for shift changes. This is an excellent example of how we, personally, are vital to those who come to eat, hoping to have our ear - and the disappointment when we must be elsewhere. I sometimes sense that family members feel the loss when we spread ourselves thin, and so we must engage them, teaching them by example that it is truly great to be needed. And better yet - to place our needs upon Him Who is always there . . .
02/17/16
Um... Wow! I didn't know what to think at the beginning, but the style enhanced the story and felt more like the MC thinking through it all. What a moment of realization for a finish:)
02/18/16
I loved this poem. I've volunteered in shelters, and you have captured the essence of this homeless man with his forthright disapproval of your absence. Brings back a lot of good memories.
02/18/16
Wow! Excellent!

Blessings~
02/18/16
Congratulations on your First Place!

I couldn't help but reed this with the imaginings of rhythm in my head at the same time. Maybe it's a musician thing, lol. But it's good as rap too.

02/18/16
Great win! So happy this won! Congrats:)
02/18/16
Congratulations! Beautiful poem. Added it to my Favorites-- first time doing that :)
02/18/16
Congrats!
Blessings~
Congratulations on first place EC for this beautifully poignant story.
02/18/16
Congratulations, Melanie, on your 1st place EC award. Your poem was profound.
02/18/16
Congratulations on a well deserved first place!
This is a masterpiece - well deserving of your EC!
Congratulations! Love, Judi
02/21/16
Congratulations Melanie. This poem is very worthy of its first place win. I like the way you've explored how the homeless man feels and how it is a privilege to be able to choose when to be available. I like this stanza particularly:
"knowledge creeps upon me
it was always more than soup
he needs to know I have his back, that
I will stand with him in the rain".
Very thought provoking and well written.
02/23/16
Your poem was overflowing with innuendos from one man among untold thousands...each with a story if only someone would listen.

Haunting and superb.