The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/26/15
Loved the true to life images and dialogue, and the cute little promise at the end. Well done.
Your story reminded me of how blessed I am to have such wonderful in-laws. They aren't perfect, but they never make me feel less than I am. After reading this, I made a point of stopping to thank God for blessing me with that family. I think like most, the mother-in-law in your story had good intentions, but a horrible delivery. It made me smile, but I also wanted to hug the MC. You did a great job to evoke such emotions from your reader.

I noticed a couple of things that may not have gelled with the overall picture. If this was their first Christmas together, it would make for a tight timeline to move out of an apartment, be constantly nagged about having kids, and in today's world, the doctor can diagnosis a pregnancy in mere minutes.(Also with the confidentiality laws, he'd never be allowed to tell the results of tests to someone other than the patient.) At first, I thought the dinner took place on Christmas, which would make it unlikely that a doctor would call or stores would be open for shopping, but then I decided they could be celebrating on any day. However, all of these things are probable, and the phrase literary license was invented just for events like that, so it is likely I noticed because I'm so nitpicky. (Ask my son-in-law ;) )

You did a great job of introducing the conflict right out of the box and adding a couple of other small ones sprinkled about. Although I saw the ending coming, your wonderful descriptions urged me to keep reading. You have a delightful sense of humor too. The topic, grating on one's nerves, was clearly showcased throughout the entire story. Good job.
11/30/15
I liked the dialogue between the MC and the mother-in-law. I know the mother-in-law was just trying to "help", but unfortunately some couples have a difficult time or not able to have children.
12/01/15
Well done, delivery content and overall story...I enjoyed this immensely.

God bless~
12/03/15
Congrats!
God bless~
12/03/15
Congratulations on your EC award.

12/03/15
Congrats on your EC. Well done.
12/03/15
Congrats on your EC. Well done.
12/03/15
Congrats on your EC. Well done.