The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was a delight. You pulled me in right away. I found myself intrigued and enjoyed people watching through your MC's eyes.

The only red ink I have is the POV shift at the end. Bill couldn't know what the father was imagining, only his body language and dialog.

I loved the ending. Your point was brilliant and didn't come off preachy at all. I thought the way Bill summed up the attitudes of the guests were spot on and this is a brilliant modern take of the parable of the farmer and the seeds. I could easily see Jesus tell this story today. I really enjoyed this.
Thanks for this entry. I will double confirm reservations and directions plus payment options before any future trips. Nice job.
Great dialogue, action and characterisation throughout.
A minor sticking point is how you summarise other guests' attitudes. If you had mentioned Bill's discovery of new sermon material first, we would feel more included in how he was seeing those guests - as we previewed with him what his new sermon would contain.
I thought this was a very insightful piece. I have to admit, I'd forgotten about Bill by the end. I think I might have brought him in once or twice, just to remind readers he was there. That said, I enjoyed this very much and loved your message.
A lovely story well written. Parable pictures of eternal truth are never far away and this delightful story illustrates that perfectly.
I very much enjoyed this story. I see a great sermon coming out of it. Well done.
Nicely done!
God bless~
Congratulations on your EC. Great work.
Congratulations on your EC!