Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TOURIST TRAP (08/20/15)
TITLE: Tomorrow? Tomorrow!
By Allison Egley
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Museum of Procrastination 60 miles ahead! Take Exit
The rest of the sign was blank.
I turned to my wife. "That sounds interesting. Let's go."
"Naw. Maybe tomorrow."
I gave my wife an odd look. "Uhh…"
She laughed. "I'm kidding. Sounds interesting to me, too. And hey, maybe I could even ask if I could set up an exhibit."
We pulled off the exit, attempted to follow the half-completed signs, and pulled into the parking lot. Or at least we assumed it was the parking lot. There were no spots painted, and it was nearly empty. We checked the hours of operation, which said it opened at 10:00 AM. It was 10:30. The doors were locked. We shrugged our shoulders and started to walk away, when a worker opened the doors. In retrospect, this should have been our first clue. Actually, the half completed highway sign should have been our first clue.
"So sorry. We opened a bit late today. Had to have that staff meeting we kept putting off. Come in. Come in."
We followed her inside, and paid the $15 dollar admission fee.
"I looked around, but couldn't find any signs directing us. "Where do we go from here? Is there a tour guide, or do we explore on our own?"
"Well, you can explore on your own, but to get the most out of this, we recommend a tour. One should be starting soon. Well, sooner or later. You know how it is."
My wife looked at the museum employee. "Does the tour cost anything?"
"Oh, no. It's free with admission."
"We'll try it," I replied.
About ten minutes late, our tour guide arrived. "Follow me, please." We followed her to the first exhibit, which appeared to be an empty pedestal. "This here is supposed to be a sculpture depicting the mind of a procrastinator. The artist promised it would be here last month, but he hasn't quite finished it yet.
"Over here, you'll see what is supposed to be an essay on the struggles of a procrastinator. As you can see, it's an unopened ream of printer paper. It's a work in progress.
"And if you follow me, I'll escort you to our auditorium, where you can listen to a speech about tips to help procrastinators." The tour guide must have noticed the looks my wife and I were exchanging, because she quickly added, "Don't worry. It's included in the price of admission."
I rolled my eyes and followed my wife into the auditorium. We sat down. I think we got pretty much what we expected. Nothing. I took a deep breath. "Let me guess. The presenter is going to have his tips ready next week?"
"Wow! You're really catching on to the spirit of this museum. Would you like to see the rest of the exhibits?"
My wife shook her head. "Is it about the same as what we've seen so far?"
"Well," the employee paused a bit. "Yes."
I stood up. "I think we've seen enough. But could you please direct us to the nearest restrooms? I didn't see any signs."
"Oh, we haven't gotten around to putting those up yet. Exit the auditorium, turn right, and follow the hall until you can't continue. Then turn right, go down the stairs, turn left, walk past the next three exhibits…"
I interrupted her. "That's enough. Can you at least show us to the exit?"
"Well, if I must."
We followed her, and, of course, had to pass through a gift shop before we left. It appeared to the only part of the museum that was completed. Or, nearly completed, at least. They sold only one item: A shirt that said "Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow." The clerk in the gift shop greeted us. "Would you like a t-shirt?"
My wife winked at me. "Actually, I think we will buy one."
We looked at each other, and I finished the statement with my wife. "Tomorrow."
And now, a special note from the museum proprietor:
In case anyone is wondering, there is no museum of procrastination. At least not yet. I mean, as soon as I finish this, I'm going to start the plans, I promise. Well, actually, I need to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow. But I work tomorrow, and this weekend I've got plans, and... Never mind.
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