The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Well written entry, great job

God bless~
Wow, I have goosebumps. You did a splendid job of creating the perfect atmosphere. I found myself holding my breath. The only red ink I might offer would be to use italics instead of a single quotation marks for thoughts. I think this story is paced perfectly. I love the wonderful verbs you use. You've mastered the art of showing not telling. I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful story.
Congratulations on ranking 15th overall! Happy Dance!