The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 475 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/02/15
Well written entry, great job

God bless~
Wow, I have goosebumps. You did a splendid job of creating the perfect atmosphere. I found myself holding my breath. The only red ink I might offer would be to use italics instead of a single quotation marks for thoughts. I think this story is paced perfectly. I love the wonderful verbs you use. You've mastered the art of showing not telling. I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful story.
Congratulations on ranking 15th overall! Happy Dance!