The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/16/15
I thought this was a solid piece. I will say that I think there was too much extraneous detail to the story - you probably could have had great impact if you left out most of the middle part. By the time I got through that I knew what your punch line was going to be. Perhaps if you had less detail the punchline (to me) would have more impact. But I do like the humor in this piece.
04/17/15
Good job!

God bless~