The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/26/15
I like the story very much, especially the descriptive characterizations...One point, it starts out first person, but the last couple of sentences are not. "He turned to Simone" and "that's when they heard the thump" should be "He turned to me" and "that's when we heard the thump."
02/26/15
Note:

Hello Everyone,

Unfortunately, I submitted the "wrong" unedited version and hence the "third" person left in at the end as Allan mentioned. I thought I had attached the correct copy...alas I did not!


Oh well...I hope it doesn't distract too much from the story.

Allen, thank you for your "observant eye," I appreciate it.

God bless~
02/26/15
Delightful story and the show-not-tell is almost too realistic. I have an over-active sense of smell!

Wing His Words
02/26/15
So it was Annie who turned out to be the cereal offender!!! Very descriptive work - you now not-so-anonymous writer you.
02/26/15
Oh, now this is priceless and I would bet it makes to the top! (I got a second place EC with a little POV oops last week.)

I will remember this story for decades, and that's how you tell a winner. This is so funny when Annie gets her due. I absolutely loved this, as it is brilliant and funny and made me smile a mile wide. This is it, this is the winner in my book.

I'm still chuckling, just watching Annie hit the floor.

Blessings....
02/26/15
Totally delightful read! I loved the ending and all the delicious description as the saga progressed. The slight POV shift at the end didn't detract from the story. Nice job and thanks for the fun!
Camille..This is a wonderful story that made me smile and laugh. It is deserving of a top 5 article.

I look forward to your next article my dear friend!

God Bless!
03/06/15
This was complete enjoyment. Your title is captivating, as is every mysterious detail about that giant. Loved this!
What an enjoyable tale. I always love it when just desserts are served.
Thank you for your constant encouragement of us all here at FW.
03/10/15
The only thing that will make this article better to me is, to hear it is Non-fiction! Loved how easily it was to read through, just kept pulling you along, entertaining and got a great point across. Bless you and thank you again!
03/21/15
I loved this story. Made me think of the movie, "Anne of Green Gables." The neighbor who came to visit, I mean. Thanks for all your encouragement. Think I'll nickname you Barnabasille.