The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/13/15
Yikes. I feel a nightmare coming on. An engaging story that held my attention right through to the finish. You added just enough detail to make it realistic without going overboard. If I had any red ink, it would just be to say that I thought your last line didn't seem necessary. It would have been a miracle if he survived after your perfect aim. Great job.
02/14/15
This is rage wide open, detailed and disconcerting as it is a reminder of widespread domestic violence. I was wowed by the phrase 'Grand Puppeteer.' I wish it had a happy ending but this is where a great many abusive relationships lead.

Wing His Words
02/14/15
You've told this most confronting story very well. Not a happy tale but unfortunately true to some people's lives.
02/15/15
an evocative and sadly, honest depiction of domestic violence. Great work! I don't think you could be more on topic :-)the thing that is perhaps the most powerful in this piece is how plainly human the situation and emotions are.
03/21/15
Good portrayal of a sad situation that becomes a worst nightmare.