The Official Writing Challenge
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07/25/14
Loved the ending. You had me running for the fire escape and down the street with your characters.

Very well done.
Exciting story. I loved the use of the paper and pen as a means of escape. Your action scenes were quite believable. A little red ink here. In your title, and near the end of the story, I think you meant Muslims, as in more than one Muslim. The apostrophe indicates possession rather than making the word a plural. Also since this is a very serious story, I didn't want to chuckle but when I read "crumbled to the floor" in paragraph eight, I wondered, "Like a cookie?" Probably "crumpled" is the word you were looking for. ;) And lastly in describing the inscription under the frame, I believe you meant "plaque", not plague.
07/26/14
This story was well written with great details, action, and messages. Held my attention throughout the entire piece.

Good writing, nicely done.

God bless~
07/26/14
I love the story, the action and the inner monologue of your MC. The escape with pen and paper was a very clever use of the topic.

To be honest, I'm not crazy about the title, and that might be my only red ink. The reason being is that I was constantly looking in the story for that justification for the title and when he walked up to the vendor on the street, I said to myself "Aha! Here's where it comes in." So it took some of the suspense out of it for me, knowing that he was going to be helped.

Other than that, I thought it was an excellent story and very creative.
07/26/14
Very well written with suspense. Kept me reading all the way through.

The pen is mightier than the sword. I liked that a lot. I also, am not warmed to the title.

Great job of a story, though.
07/26/14
Great. A good read. I actually did like the title, which goes to show how we are all different people. The title drew me in, as it made want to find out why you gave the article this title. Knowing that there are such terrible crimes being committed by Muslim terrorists, it's also very helpful to simply show that as your title suggests, not every Muslim is a terrorist. Even the evil terrorist in the story apparently still had some fear of the real God left, since he hadn't killed the children, even though he said he'd done it. It's an interesting subject and even though it is a fictional story, the deeper thought underneath is worth considering.
07/26/14
Hi fellow-writer,
I enjoyed this lovely adventure story - thought you told it quite well and I loved the creative way in which you introduced the writing theme. I'm afraid I did not like your title either. An excellent beginning – certainly aroused my interest. The line that stood out for me from the entire story was: “Knowing that time was now also an enemy, desperation drew sanity back into focus.” Well Done!
07/26/14
Wonderfully suspenseful tale.

You are a master storyteller!

A bit of red ink-only because I know you have thick skin and because I am unqualified to apply red to anyone's writing.

You wrote "led them back into the hall. At the end of the hall"

Perhaps "led them back into the hall. At the end of the corridor" would have flowed better.
07/26/14
I really liked your entry too but it needs to be tightened up some. You keep repeating words in the same paragraphs. It's very distracting.

I believe you could choose a better title too. This piece is way too good. How about - The Click of the Pen, The Scrape of the Paper or Just Maybe? or Child's Cry or even Deny or Die.

It's fun to play with titles. You really did write a fantastic piece. Just watch those word repetitions and silly typos. Super awesome!
07/27/14
A great story, well told. Like others, I would have preferred a different title, and perhaps a little information as to how and why the family came to be taken hostage, though the word limit gets in the way of this of course. A creative take on this topic. Well done.
Good story line. I liked the idea of breaking free by using pen and paper and the description of the terrorist as 'the storm.' I've met storms that were people. :)
07/27/14
Intriguing story. I thought the ending was a bit abrupt, but doesn't that often have to happen when we only get 750 words? Otherwise, I agree with some of the previous red-ink, but have nothing else to add. Great job.
I love how you started right away with action and the threat of death. It grabbed my attention and held it to the end.

I also loved how the pen was used both as a weapon against the man by the enemy but also as a tool to help set him free. Very cool!

I think the title definitely grabs the reader's attention. I had a hard time getting the correlation to the title at first, but honestly I don't put a lot of emphasis on titles. They are important as hooks to draw in readers, but don't matter much if you have a strong story which you definitely do. Great job!
07/29/14
I really liked this and was so engrossed I didn't see any need for correction. Good Job!
Thoroughly engrossing. Would like to read more . . .
Congratulations for ranking 11th overall! Happy Dance!