The Official Writing Challenge
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07/17/14
Good imagery. I enjoyed your lines. The sudden transition to tragedy was jolting—highlighting the fragility of life. I'm glad you feathered the death, and included hope as it turned into a homecoming. Good work.
07/19/14
Your great imagery put me on the bicycle with you and I so did not expect to be a road victim. However the way you turned the horror into a blissful eternity was well worth the ride. Good take on the topic too.
A great poem with some wonderful descriptions that draw the reader in on the journey. Good writing.
07/19/14
I agree with others - I was captivated by the imagery. Enjoyed the flow of the poem as well.
07/21/14
Wonderfully written.
07/21/14
This was such a roller coaster ride. This read much more like a story than a poem to me. If you can make me forget that I'm reading a poem, because I am just so caught up in the fabric of the story, then you've really done something.

You also did an excellent job of making me feel both pain and joy. Of course I couldn't help, as a parent, to still feel pain for the parent mentioned in this story, even as your 15 year old mc was being delivered home.

You did a great job of writing a very impactful piece.
07/21/14
I really enjoyed the story as it unfolded, but took a big breath at the ending. I'm not critical of the ending, but as a parent and grand-parent, it was sad.

I agree with the earlier comment that if your poetry reads as a story that carries you along, it is very well written. This free verse did that for me.

Blessings.
07/21/14
Wow so much power in so few lines.

A young girls frivolous rebellion resulting in irreversible consequences, but tempered with a grand ending.

Nicly done!
Sigh. Disobeying Mama has horrifying consequences. I agree with Bea - this was beautifully written, but if only she had obeyed her mother her earthly life could have been prolonged. This broke my heart - and mended it. Thank you.
Wow. This left me speechless. It reminded me of an article that used to run in Dear Abbey about a teen dying in a car accident. It makes me want to insist my kids always listen to me, but in the end, all that truly matters is that they are prepared to meet Jesus. Powerful piece.
07/23/14
Penetrating and deeply moving entry.

Well done.

God bless~