The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/14/14
An encouraging poem—almost a battle song. The use of many one-syllable words brings about a strong, staccato rhythm. We can hear the soldiers march. The victory is around the corner.

I love it.
06/14/14
A strong message that needs some pausing for breath, so punctuation might help here.
Some great imagery, but a curve ball comes from the pitcher - which is different from anything coming from left field.
That's my pink ink - rather than heavy red.
06/14/14
A great poem with a great message and covering this topic very well. Minor red ink comments: You missed out a couple of apostrophes: "A curve balls thrown from left field", needed an apostrophe in "balls" & "Could be this trials very end" needed an apostrophe in "trials". Also, some mid-line commas would have helped in a couple of places. Easy mistakes to make. Well done though.
06/14/14
sounds like the story of a number of people's lives... it will resonate with a lot of folks who read it... - just a little red ink, that is the same as previous comments about small punctuation issues... otherwise a very good poem with a great message
06/15/14
Great rhyming, the meter's a little off and punctuation is needed in a few places like:

A loved ones dies, slips away
Lost the house, the car, and boat

And I didn't understand this line:

Marriage a divorce a yield

The way you wrote this as a non free verse would have been better with full punctuation, in my humble poetic opinion, and of course I may be wrong.

But I loved the message!
Great poem.

I like to read poems but simply have no idea how to write them and am always amazed that people are capable of it, so no red ink from me!

I especially liked the last verse.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again...
(Proverbs 24:16 KJV)
06/16/14
I loved this poem! and reads so much like a song, so punctuation not always needed, and it does sound like a battle song!
06/16/14
Poetry is not really my thing, so I'm not very qualified to give much constructive criticism. What I liked about this one, though, is the message. It came through clearly and strongly, and it nails the topic perfectly.

Nice job!
Breathtaking. Good incentive for those rough patches . . .
06/16/14
I may not be an editor, or a prolific writer...all I know is that I loved this!

It was fabulous. I got the entire message. And when I write free verse messages, I do so without punctuations. I personally think they flow better. But, again...I'm not a judge, nor an editor...all I know is that you touched my heart with this excellent and worthy message.

Excellent and well done!!!

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 15th overall! Happy Dance!
06/20/14
This is a very uplifting poem. Beautifully written!