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TITLE: A Pitiful Psalm of Lament | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jim McWhinnie
04/20/14
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Oh, Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many so annoying!
Though there may be some starving poor,
my own sirloin steak is costing more.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying!
Though there may be many who complain of thirst,
my coffee latte could not be worst.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying.
Though wars may wage in ravaged lands,
I have dry skin patches on my hands.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying.
Though plague may spread through the young and old,
for three whole days I have had a cold.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying.
Though some may slave for sweatshop pay,
they raised my taxes the other day.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying.
Though some must hide to say their prayers,
my church still has those folding chairs.
O Lord, have mercy on this poor soul,
for my trials are many and so annoying.
So thank you, Lord, for hearing me,
for now you know how sad I be.

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Member Comments

Member

Date

04/25/14

Prolific!

God bless~

04/25/14

Oh so true--the petty troubles of life that annoy us! My only red ink would be a suggestion for a bit more spacing. Perhaps dividing it into several stanzas instead of one for ease of reading. Good job!

04/26/14

Wonderfully witty and a winner for sure! You illustrated the topic perfectly with just the right words. Great job, as always!

04/26/14

This put a smile on my face and a little conviction in my heart.

What a great presentation of opposing perspectives.

Fantastic application of theme.

04/26/14

Great job. So glib and sounds just like someone I know.

The spacing was really getting me annoyed, though. I don't like having to look so hard for the funny line I just read. You really need to fix that. :)

04/27/14

Strange! I don't remember asking for red ink!

04/28/14

Great writing! It was a good idea to write it as a prayer - it works well. So true for so many of us as we bemoan the petty things, such at the 'folding chairs' in the church. Well done!

04/28/14

Re the 'red ink', Jim - I think that's the default setting and one has to tick something to not get red ink. I never notice it though when submitting.

04/28/14

The title fits this piece perfectly. I liked this but felt the repeated lament was overdone. Maybe for every four lines, rather than every two, the lament could be inserted. Also, spacing between verses (or paragraphs) is important because it gives pause for the reader's thoughts and rest to the eyes. Other than that, I felt this entry was read-worthy and nailed the topic.

04/29/14

I feel I should clarify my previous comments, since it appears some may have taken the ones I made about the format seriously. Jim explained his reasoning for not using spacing on the forums, so I decided to be glib and tease him some about it in my comments. I really like the format and was just playing that I had a "first world problem" with it. I put a smiley face on it and everything. Sorry for any confusion.

04/29/14

Great poem, great prayer excellent job!

Verna Cole Mitchell

05/01/14

The very best one this week--in my opinion. Loved it--and right on topic!

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom

05/02/14

Congratulations for ranking 20 overall! Happy Dance!