The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1360 times
Member Comments
I really enjoyed your story. Cynthia came up trumps after all. Great humour and no doubt, some realism. Well done.
This is a cute story. You did a nice job of going from resentment to acceptance in only 750 words. The ending didn't feel forced at all which isn't always easy in limited words.

I did wonder about a couple of things. At first he couldn't remember the name of Swan Lake, but then he did say it. I know the time before was before the show, then he said it during the show, which might have worked better if told in present tense instead of past. I also wonder if a boy who was really into boy things would reference Parent Trap. It's possible, that he watched it with Mom, but it did make me hesitate just a bit. Overall though, I really think you did a nice job. I like the characters and the scene in the pool was a divine description. I almost could feel the water splashing off the screen. Nicely done.
Oh, I really enjoyed this. Especially the way it ended up. Very nice story and made me smile. Great job.
Good for Cynthia. She gave that young Mitch his comeuppance. You did a superb job with Cynthia's character in so few words. Great writing.
You held my attention with this story. It was an accurate portrayal of a child adjusting to the situation you developed with the school year being with mom and the summer with dad.

Great job on developing the characters. I also wondered about the Parent Trap reference for a boy.

I really enjoyed your story and the way the villain-ess became a potential ally. Great fun with the timeless lesson not to judge a book by it cover.
This is FUN! Funny and delightful - I will chuckle over this for a long time.
Great first line! It caught my attention and made me want to find out what on earth she'd done! The last line was a perfect partner to it! A change of mind was definitely taking place here! :) Your description of what happened at the pool was well-done and made me smile. Good job!
Loved this, from beginning to end! Mitch certainly learned his lesson, but you did a great job with the ending. I would agree the reference to The Parent Trap is a little different coming from a boy, but I have two boys and they both have watched that movie dozens of times (the original and the newer version). Good job!
Loved the first line, it pulled me in immediately! The rest was icing on the cake...great job.

God bless~
Congrats on your EC, Christina! Great writing, girl
Ohhhhhh! Glorious. A well-deserved win!
Hearty CONGRATULATIONS on your E.C. win for this amusing story with its good message! WAY TO WRITE!!
Great character development with so few words! Fantastic! Congrats on your EC placement! #3 overall!!!!
A hearty congrats to you Christina on your "spin of the Parent Trap" and your second place win! God Bless.
Very entertaining. Congrats on winning 3rd!
Congratulations, Stina!
Congratulations Christina! Beautifully written! God bless!
I completely enjoyed the unexpected ending. I'm still smiling. Super congrats on your Editor's Choice award.
I enjoyed this story for a couple reasons. First, it was just plain fun to read. Second, it is a fairly accurate description of the way a kid feels when his or her dad includes his new girlfriend in their special summer visits. It brought back memories I hadn't thought about in years. Thank goodness for happy endings. Congratulations on your EC.